GALE, MilkPEP, and Mary Beth Barone Crown Milk’s First-Ever Swole Santa

On December 13, GALE, MilkPEP, and comedian and actress Mary Beth Barone held the first-ever Swole Santa Contest, which brought a swarm of Santas to Brooklyn, New York, in search of uncovering Santa’s true form–one that is jacked, thanks to all the milk he drinks.

The concept for the event was rooted in the idea that Santa drinks a lot of dairy milk—each glass including eight grams of complete, high-quality protein—in addition to working one of the most physically demanding overnight shifts in human history and carrying more weight in a single evening than most people lift all year. Powered by protein, Santa’s belly likely isn’t round—it’s probably chiseled with the help of all that milk.

“He’s jolly, yes,” Mary Beth said. “But he’s also running the largest overnight operation on Earth. Flying internationally, climbing down chimneys, lifting thousands of gifts, downing milk—and we’re supposed to believe he’s soft and plump? No. I’m convinced this is a very ripped man in extremely festive clothing. I intend to set the record straight.”

The Swole Santa contestants arrived in full Santa costume to be put through a series of challenges designed to test strength, stamina, and holiday grit—all in the name of crowning one macro-fueled milk drinker the ultimate Swole Santa. From timed planks to a milk-chug challenge to an all-out sack race that turned Santa’s signature accessory into a full high-performance sport, these challenges were not for the faint of heart.

The Swole Santa champion received a custom sash and a ceremonial “gallon of milk” check along with the prestigious premiere title.