Forget “Don’t Take It Personally”, Caring Is Your Superpower

Hayley James strongly believes in the power of real-world experiences – the kind that spark conversations, create memories and last far beyond the scroll – having worked with brands such as Coca-Cola, TikTok and The Economist. She heads up business development at brand experience agency, Sense, while co-leading The Futures Lab, their in-house think tank tracking cultural shifts.

Hayley discusses the importance of being passionate about your work. Agency folk may be advised not to take it personally, but for Hayley, ‘personal’ is where the magic happens.

It was 9.30pm on a summer’s evening, early in my agency career, with the sun still shining outside.

A group of us were sitting around the boardroom table, planning for a high-stakes event going live in T-minus 10 days. We were tired, over-caffeinated, eating slices of cold Domino’s pizza (someone forgot to order the dip, adding insult to injury).

It was one of those projects that had so many moving parts that if one domino fell, the whole thing would be in jeopardy. Client requests were flying in at the last minute, we were on version 19 of creative amends and the weather forecast for launch day looked increasingly grim. Not ideal for an outdoor ‘summer vibes’ activation.

The room was undoubtedly tense. Account folk, creatives and producers all feeling the pressure, all pulling in different directions but all desperate to make the work great.

That’s when a senior colleague entered the room, sensed the frustration and casually announced, “Remember, we really shouldn’t take work personally”.

I bristled. We all did.

How could we not “take it personally”? We were giving up our evenings, our energy, our headspace. The irony wasn’t lost on any of us.

Why “don’t take it personally” doesn’t sit right

“Don’t take it personally” is one of those phrases that agency life loves to throw at you. The intention is often to protect and cultivate resilience. But it can also dismiss the very thing that makes this industry thrive: people who care deeply.

In brand experience, we deal in human connection. We’re not delivering digital banners or gondola ends, we’re creating moments that genuinely move people. If we don’t bring personal passion, pride and a bit of emotion to the table, the work risks becoming mechanical.

Some of the most successful projects I’ve worked on came from teams who cared personally. They stayed late because they genuinely wanted to make something remarkable, not because they were forced to. That investment shows — and the client feels it.

Ultimately, we need balance.

Of course, there’s nuance. Taking work personally doesn’t mean letting it consume your identity. If a pitch doesn’t land or a teammate rejects your idea, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. The danger is linking your self-worth to external outcomes in a way that you’re not able to protect yourself psychologically, which is a fast track to burnout.

The way I see it is that we should care about the craft, the relationships and the tiny details that make a brand experience unforgettable. But don’t take difficult conversations or criticism personally.

The real leadership test

There’s another uncomfortable truth: “don’t take work personally” is often said by leaders who, in the same breath, expect their teams to give very personal levels of energy and commitment. That contradiction can be toxic if left unspoken.

Good leadership isn’t about telling people to harden up. It’s about creating environments where people can put their energy into their work without being exploited for it. That means recognising personal investment, actively protecting boundaries and reminding people they can step back without guilt.

Because the reality is that our industry can make it very hard to maintain those boundaries. Pitch cycles, late nights and shifting client demands aren’t going away. Which is exactly why leaders need to do more than say “don’t take it personally”. They need to create cultures where people feel safe to care deeply and safe to disconnect when they need to.

Why it matters

That late-night comment still echoes for me. At the time, it annoyed me. Now, I see it as a reminder of the tension we all live with in this business: we’re often asked to care but also told not to.

Ultimately, clients don’t hire agencies for cold detachment. They hire us for passion, creativity and emotional investment. And let’s face it, the people who take work personally within our own agency teams are typically the ones that are the most inspirational, energising… and just better to work with.

So, the next time you hear someone say, “don’t take it personally”, flip it on its head.

Take it personally – proudly, passionately – because that is where the magic happens. Just protect your energy, so you can keep showing up with the same fire tomorrow.

Because in brand experience, the work worth remembering always comes from those who cared enough to put themselves into it (and sometimes that involves blood, sweat, tears and cold slices of pizza. Just please don't forget the dip).